Candy Girl by Diablo Cody

Author:Diablo Cody [DIABLO CODY]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Schwartz Publishing Pty. Ltd
Published: 2011-09-16T04:00:00+00:00

Slippery When Wet

I never worked at the Vu on Wednesday nights, but one week I deliberately made an exception. Wednesday was “Wet ’n’ Wild Night” (sponsored by O’Douls, the tonic of teetotalers) and I wanted to see what exactly this mysterious watery theme entailed.

“Oh, Wet ’n’ Wild,” a girl said when I asked her about it. “It’s gross.”

“Totally nasty,” another girl concurred. “They pick three or four girls to run around onstage, and the audience gets to squirt them.”

“I sort of like it,” a third girl admitted. “It’s a nice break from the norm. Actually, I usually volunteer.”

My curiosity piqued, I scheduled myself for a Wednesday. The night began as usual, but around 10:00 p.m., a bouncer began handing out plastic squirt bottles and water pistols to the boisterous crowd at the tip rail. The Vu got a lot of college students, which displeased me; they were abominable tippers and seemed to have a distinct preference for whispery-voiced airhead strippers who could make them feel intelligent by comparison. The median age of the crowd that had gathered for Wet ’n’ Wild was around nineteen. The kids gripped their squirt bottles with excited aggression, as if they were ready to play a triple-X version of cops and robbers.

“Gentlemen, no squirting in the face,” the DJ announced. “Ladies, come on out!”

Three girls ran onstage wearing oversized Deja Vu T-shirts. Two of them were pocket-sized Asian girls, and the tacky tees hung past their knees like avant-garde Yohji Yamamoto dresses. The third girl was a robust blonde with 400-cc funbags, and I saw a few of the guys identify her as their favorite by taking aim immediately.

“Ready, set, go!” the DJ proclaimed. Now, I had naively assumed that this exercise was simply a glorified wet T-shirt contest. However, the shirts served little purpose, because the girls immediately lifted them up to their chins, exposing their naked bodies beneath. Streams of water arced through the air as the girls skipped around the stage. The room was filled with the mechanical sklish-sklish-sklish sound of twenty squirt bottles being furiously operated at once.

The two Asian girls sat down in front of the tip rail and pulled their legs behind their heads. The guys instantly began squirting their pussies and rectums. It reminded me of a game of chance at a carnival: Hit the anus and win a stuffed unicorn for your sweetie! I noticed the water was going directly into the girls’ vaginas in some cases. It was the world’s first interactive douche!

Water pooled on the stage; the strippers were soaking wet. The girls pulled off the dripping T-shirts and hurled them into the crowd. One of the little Asian girls got on all fours while the other one mounted her and pretended to fuck her in the ass. Obviously feeling left out, the blonde girl knelt behind the dominant Asian girl and faked eating her pussy from behind. The three of them collapsed into a slippery pile and pawed each other, their fake giggles progressing to fake hysterics as the action intensified.

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